My Mother Never...

My mother has never been one to crush people’s dreams. She's pretty good at talking the talk but not walking the walk... So far from everyone's blogs I've read, everyone has pretty decent or amazing moms. I can't really think of anything good to say about mine, besides that she's always encouraged people to do what they want to do with their lives and to not give up.

My mom was a party animal as a kid and into her twenties, fortunately she had me in her thirties (unlike my brother who she had in her early twenties). My father was still into the lifestyle when I came around and my mom always liked to have her girlfriends over doing God knows what. I was a pretty oblivious child though, they pretty much threw me onto the computer and video games and I was hooked (or outside with my friends). My mom was always extremely lenient on me, she never made me do something I didn't want to do, even if it was for my own good. She always had me with her everywhere she went, she even had a job where I could hang out (On their computers...). Even though I was with her I always shut her out of my life, I don't know why but I've never liked her. Now that I'm older I feel bad that I was so mean to her, but she's always annoyed me and I've always thought she was daft.

My father ended up cleaning up when I was about eleven and realized how toxic his and my mom's relationship was. A few months later he ended up meeting my older sister, who he hadn't seen since she was a baby, then about six months later he moved in with her and her family. My mom was pretty depressed about the break up (Even though she'd been trying to leave him for years!) and went back to substances she hadn't touched since I was born. When I finished fifth grade she forces me to go with my father for the "summer" and I was left to learn what it's like to share, be around people you don't necessarily like, and all the other good things she had sheltered me from (I should add in that we we're constantly fighting and looking back on it, it was the best thing for me. I was really upset about it at the time though). When the summer ended I was still on good terms with my sister’s mom, so I decided I wanted to stay for a while longer. My mom was hurt by this and probably got deeper into drugs, so it went from only seeing her once every two weeks, from only talking to her every three. I think at one point when I was around fifteen I didn't hear from her for three months.

So yeah...I didn't really start talking to her again till I was seventeen almost eighteen (I did see her and talk to her from when I was 11-17 but it was very sporadic and rare) . She cleaned up and moved in with my brother to be a full time babysitter for my nephew and it was around that time she told me she wanted to start seeing me regularly. I had also grown up a lot and could now handle her. So here I am at twenty, for the last 2 years I've gone over to my family’s house once a week to eat dinner and talk. When I call my mom she is almost always there for me and even she's amazed at how much better our relationship has become. As a kid I was always shutting her out of my life, I never wanted to be close to her, even as a toddler, but now I'd say she's one of the closest people in my life. I still can't stand her at times though, I'm okay for six or seven hours if I'm in a good mood and in a bad mood she really pushes my buttons. But she is always there when I need her and she encourages me to be the best I can be, which I can say is much more encouraging then my father.